It is November, a year since my last post on this blog. The sun is shining and the birds chirping outside my bedroom window on this crisp autumn Monday morning. I'm chatting to God and remembering yesterday's church service with warmth and realise that I am looking forward to going to church again next Sunday. It occurs to me that I haven't felt this way in many years. I feel excited about going to church for the first time since we had our own church, D7 Church. I never dreamed the grief process would take so long. I never imagined that it could hurt so much and that my church life would become so complicated!
It's a new day today. I feel a little flicker of something I used to feel. There is hope. But I'm taking it slowly and just enjoying going to church each Sunday. I still fear someone speaking to me and may seem very unfriendly when someone does. The thought of being asked to serve on a team still terrifies me. There is a long way to go in this healing process I can see. But just being in the House of God each week is healing. I love the time of worship and can't get enough of it. Hearing the word preached is another layer of healing and each week I see how important our weekly church gatherings are.
The church isn't the Sunday meeting, it is the people and together we are the church 24/7 but there is still something powerful that happens when we gather together each week.
I never thought I would ever get to feel this way about church again, but I can honestly say that I am looking forward to going to church again this coming Sunday.